Miro and my brother

My pup has grown quite a bit. Looking back at that other pic, he seems so gangly and not totally grown into his ears. Now his face has filled out and he looks much more awesome. I've been living quite nicely these past few months. No particular things come to mind to speak of.

My brother's football career came to an end with a season ending injury a few weeks back and his last two games are coming up these next two weekends. It's sad to see something like this head out after it having been such a big part of his life. He's played football since the third grade and I know it's gonna leave some sort of an empty feeling when it's finally over for good for him. I love my brother and I know he's a strong guy but I know he's gonna go through this in some sort of hard way. I've always looked up to and loved my brother. His hard work in football and school is something I have never been able to touch but I have always BIRGed off it. BIRG is a term I learned several years ago in social psychology and I've always used it in my head and now I'm gonna start saying it. It stands for Basking In Reflected Glory and it's the reason we always want to brag about our friends and family because we feel that their good qualities somehow reflect on who we are. So there's a little tidbit for ya. I BIRG off my big brother cause he is an amazing man of God and I love him.

I realize that this entry is a little scattered but that's how I think, in a scattered way.

Night Drive

You are the weakness, my perfection
I'm searching for you, a dear reception
Timing counted up to this day
Driving and screaming, throw night away
We're something effortless, impossible if tried
I'm running to you but I run out of time
If this is it I'll gladly lose breath
Embrace the ending, for pursuit is death

Carry Out

I've turned from desire
Lost and tired
She was a settled mind
Someone else's to find
I'm gripping on tendencies
Losing my realities
I make these eyes see
I force her words to be
Betrayed optimism
Wicked skepticism
Absent voices add to hope
I will never see clearly, vision choked
Romanticized
Idealized
Visualized
Realized

That Girl

Break fresh unto my heart
A clouded night with clearness
Your words build me to hope for more
But my hope has been taken before
Is it possible for me to ever grow?
Must I sit in circles, losing time?
My years have been wrong if this is it
I've tried to fight, be slow, be smart
But waves engulf me
I know my passion and I know I value
Still it's difficult to see past myself
I don't know how many more times I can handle this
I've invested naturally for so long
I don't think it's possible with effort
I don't think I have the patience to try
This is a moment of loss, of grasping
But I want a lifetime of holding
Something to keep me together
I felt that
I know there's more
How do I embrace it?
She's true
She has to feel something
Is boldness my path now?
I am in a haze
I became whole with her touch
I awoke like never before
My thoughts are pulling to that name
That face
That smile
Those words
And reacting has never been harder

I'm Stable. I'm Okay.

This night I felt a tumult
This day began to crumble
I pretend it's not happening
I cannot shake my trembling
Such mortality brought
Such stability rocked
It's a search for maybes
It's those empty phrases
The fire eats my heart
The emotions drag apart
After this it's humanity
After loss is insanity

It's Meant

This habit is breaking apart my soul
Tasting heat, fighting pain, holding cold
Create a way to strike a nerve
Turning a beat, seeing disdain, writing a word
Save yourself from this investment regret
Saying defeat, losing my reign, lovingly met
Look to the signs and realize failure
Being replete, knowing shame, boldly tell her

Late Title

I don't wanna force a post on here but lately I've not been in the writing mood. I haven't written a thing in a good long while. I know two posts ago I did an update but that was almost 4 weeks ago. These past weeks I've been at my job, just doing what I do. This summer has been lacking in adventure for me and I've really needed something to kick start things or just kick in general, lol. I'm pretty sure I've found that now.

Miro is getting quite big. I really look forward to having that little dude around for a good long while, I love my pup so much. He's just as smart as ever. He's learned to sit, lay down, stand on two feet, and he knew how to speak but now he doesn't do it anymore and I don't know why.

This post is really just so I don't feel like I've totally neglected my blog and those few who read it. So, I'm alive, I'm doing good, I'll be doing better, and I love you all. =]

When We Wake

I've gotta die tonight

I've gotta live to fight
Times of desire break
Times of denial take

We pull into light
We push, contrite
Call and create
Kiss and debate

It's no time for might
It's not sound over sight
For you it's too late
For us, it's my fate

It's Time For A Word

Ok, so life is going good for me. I'm really headed on the up and up. I've said that to a couple of friends recently, the up and up thing, and I really mean it. I really like the phrase and I got it from a Relient K song- such a good band. I've gone through some big, positive changes in these past few weeks. I really feel like I'm going in a great direction right now. I'm finding myself and learning to fix me before I try to get anyone else involved in any dedicated way. I have great friends that have helped me by understanding this and have also been a catalyst in some ways. The new people in my life have been completely amazing and I'm so glad that I've met them all. I'm sure you know who you are if you're reading this. I've grown close to people through the things I love to do and all in all life is going awesome. Keep it rolling all of you out there in the internets!

The Moment

I want this to be amazing.

What is this?
My life needs to be blazing.
Will I burn?
This night mixes, failing.
Why is it here?
Winning is not telling.
How is this so?
This breaking is living
Who is there?
I'm growing by giving
Where are you?

And React

She caught me slower

I feel it closer
A control on my love
A stream from a flood
Her steps go strayed
Releasing the waves
Do eyes match hers
Words made sure
She holds and leaves
Torn by defeat
Hope for fondness
No vain, just promise

For Breaks and Lies

Don't address this as you think you must

The action inside is not what I trust
Included by birth and lost with love
I find nothing here more than a flood
Walk a street in the dead of night
Moon shine, stars dance, clouds fight
Claps of pounding echo my heart
Streaks, jagged and worn, tear apart
A thick pillow in my face
No eye for a familiar place
I stumble over words, bleed and bruise
Which did I mean, which did I lose
For you I live blind in silence
One touch will help me find this