It's Meant

This habit is breaking apart my soul
Tasting heat, fighting pain, holding cold
Create a way to strike a nerve
Turning a beat, seeing disdain, writing a word
Save yourself from this investment regret
Saying defeat, losing my reign, lovingly met
Look to the signs and realize failure
Being replete, knowing shame, boldly tell her

Late Title

I don't wanna force a post on here but lately I've not been in the writing mood. I haven't written a thing in a good long while. I know two posts ago I did an update but that was almost 4 weeks ago. These past weeks I've been at my job, just doing what I do. This summer has been lacking in adventure for me and I've really needed something to kick start things or just kick in general, lol. I'm pretty sure I've found that now.

Miro is getting quite big. I really look forward to having that little dude around for a good long while, I love my pup so much. He's just as smart as ever. He's learned to sit, lay down, stand on two feet, and he knew how to speak but now he doesn't do it anymore and I don't know why.

This post is really just so I don't feel like I've totally neglected my blog and those few who read it. So, I'm alive, I'm doing good, I'll be doing better, and I love you all. =]

When We Wake

I've gotta die tonight

I've gotta live to fight
Times of desire break
Times of denial take

We pull into light
We push, contrite
Call and create
Kiss and debate

It's no time for might
It's not sound over sight
For you it's too late
For us, it's my fate

It's Time For A Word

Ok, so life is going good for me. I'm really headed on the up and up. I've said that to a couple of friends recently, the up and up thing, and I really mean it. I really like the phrase and I got it from a Relient K song- such a good band. I've gone through some big, positive changes in these past few weeks. I really feel like I'm going in a great direction right now. I'm finding myself and learning to fix me before I try to get anyone else involved in any dedicated way. I have great friends that have helped me by understanding this and have also been a catalyst in some ways. The new people in my life have been completely amazing and I'm so glad that I've met them all. I'm sure you know who you are if you're reading this. I've grown close to people through the things I love to do and all in all life is going awesome. Keep it rolling all of you out there in the internets!

The Moment

I want this to be amazing.

What is this?
My life needs to be blazing.
Will I burn?
This night mixes, failing.
Why is it here?
Winning is not telling.
How is this so?
This breaking is living
Who is there?
I'm growing by giving
Where are you?

And React

She caught me slower

I feel it closer
A control on my love
A stream from a flood
Her steps go strayed
Releasing the waves
Do eyes match hers
Words made sure
She holds and leaves
Torn by defeat
Hope for fondness
No vain, just promise

For Breaks and Lies

Don't address this as you think you must

The action inside is not what I trust
Included by birth and lost with love
I find nothing here more than a flood
Walk a street in the dead of night
Moon shine, stars dance, clouds fight
Claps of pounding echo my heart
Streaks, jagged and worn, tear apart
A thick pillow in my face
No eye for a familiar place
I stumble over words, bleed and bruise
Which did I mean, which did I lose
For you I live blind in silence
One touch will help me find this

You're Leaving Them All

It's just like everything you do. Is this who you think you are? This speed rips past and you lose control. Rage courses in your blood and you have nothing left. With one chance to save us all I release my restraint and we break. I strike. You fall. We bleed. They call. I cannot believe that which you have become. It's something so much more than what I can proclaim. This switch, this scream, this life, this endless blaze takes me into its cold arms. I'm blinded in a situation so familiar. I'm searching the words with a bias. Why am I lost in such games? Time has proven to give me no insight into the opposing mind. Blood falls from my lips. I cannot win with my fists falling away. They move. We freeze. You run. I breathe. Letting you go brings those familiar painful songs. I will not hold this anymore. Maturity and boldness will encourage me. I will cope with this reality. There is nothing else I can do. All fight is gone. All blood is lost. This moon shadows my day. The heart falls apart. Investment in moments unsure was a fate that I took beyond. Never should I have left with nothing in now. Never again will I return to those follies.

The Only Other One

I found myself here talking with heat at my ear. Words spill in selfish truth though I try to restrain. This could be an amazing time but I can't do it all for myself. She is the one that needs healing and love during these times. From which view do I send from? Friend? More? Less? I don't want to fall with those chains again. The threat frightens my heart. I have stepped on the stones that left me locked inside a place I can't control. Still this feels so much different than those past immaturities. I've controlled and listened and seen and held my spirit to restraint and sensibility. But now the remark of "I'm not sure anymore" screams through the strained concern. Excitement recreates a movement that could betray me. The switches click and she speaks to him. I bide and wait for the return message... I anticipate, I yearn. What will she spill onto the floor? What will I say in return? What will my desires cause amidst this? I hope the words I've heard from others will ring truthfully. She creates in me a calm and vigor. She brings me out and keeps me contained. She holds me to earth and lets me fly. But what else is there to do? I've got nothing left here, nothing to give away or lose. The breaking glass shot through my thoughts. Their glimmers taught me the moment's value. I lean down and forget my voice. I hide these thoughts for the time immediate. Maybe one day I can speak of these moments. Tell an ear that I trust. Hear her inside my words. But now my throat is locked. The only other thing I have is time. The only other one is a mystery.

Another Quit

Fire eats at the metal

Dust and death begin to settle
No thought, no judgment
No need, "I wanted"
Rip and destroy, blood departs
A pumping, beating, losing heart
A blackness seen
Light lost in me
I failed in faith
These months I waste
His hand still reaches
Too scared to meet this

Last Night

A light shines,

It breaks these clouded eyes.
I cover myself,
A glass is no disguise.
I lose my mind to you,
It's true.
The ringing remarks,
The truest thoughts.
Against my actions,
I continually fought.
Reality screams,
I can't face my deeds.
Tilt the glass,
Pour the wine.
This liquid drains,
I'm gone in time.
I feel a need to end it soon,
I feel a need to move.
To what ends I would go,
To what heights I would seek.
I couldn't hold on,
I faced my defeat.
Girl, you are gone,
I pushed you away.
You aren't coming back,
It's over, I fade.
I'm closed,
I'm finished,
I'm done with this.

Attack, Retreat

A no revolution outlook betrayed

Faded glass dims the day
I heard you call but I know not the answer
My lies eat me away, destroy me like cancer
Violent stabs into my side
A judgment received, the pain is mine
Careful time makes for distraught
My words are failing, I'm left with not
I force inspiration more than ever
The days of old are gone, the moments untethered
I'm going to wait for another dream
Something amazing I've yet to be
Tonight it could come, bringing emotion
Interpretation from vision, insight to devotion