Finished Wars

You held me alone there that day. I went with the masses still alone that night. The past overhead let me know things are bigger. Forgetting the latter majestics is a job not allowed by mere chance. She remains a loss in my books. She retreats back to behind. Professionally I have learned to do the patience role. The waits I have on me are far more restricting than any one person can imagine. Coming out of this bed of sleeping desires. Breaking the welds on my eyes. Cutting the mettles away with flames biting and breathing love. A flash in the cove drove me to emptiness. Then I continued on to the dreams I forgot. Moments don’t come long enough for me to complete my needs. But what else do I have to do? Words touch my vision and wrinkle my mind. I speak to Him less than I should. He is the help I need. A beginning entering is distracted by the possibilities once tasted. There is a getaway within the roads I paved myself. I travel it two fast and too often. Breaching this habit that nothing seems to phase is ridiculous and tiring.

This song is done for me. I’m done with you and your games. No matter the pain or burning or shame I will pull through. Friends will help me. You won’t hold or control me. I say this knowing a part of me wishes for the control. The stability. The predictability. This is a weakness that has been exploited so long. I intend with everything I hold inside, everything I use, everything I am to rupture this enclosure around me. This moment is fast approaching. The battle is mounting with anxiety. I’ll kill the oppositions that would have taken me. I’ll wreck the path in front of me. I will take the lives of the loves that I thought were mine. I will lavish my enemies with the pains they intended for me.