You're Leaving Them All

It's just like everything you do. Is this who you think you are? This speed rips past and you lose control. Rage courses in your blood and you have nothing left. With one chance to save us all I release my restraint and we break. I strike. You fall. We bleed. They call. I cannot believe that which you have become. It's something so much more than what I can proclaim. This switch, this scream, this life, this endless blaze takes me into its cold arms. I'm blinded in a situation so familiar. I'm searching the words with a bias. Why am I lost in such games? Time has proven to give me no insight into the opposing mind. Blood falls from my lips. I cannot win with my fists falling away. They move. We freeze. You run. I breathe. Letting you go brings those familiar painful songs. I will not hold this anymore. Maturity and boldness will encourage me. I will cope with this reality. There is nothing else I can do. All fight is gone. All blood is lost. This moon shadows my day. The heart falls apart. Investment in moments unsure was a fate that I took beyond. Never should I have left with nothing in now. Never again will I return to those follies.

The Only Other One

I found myself here talking with heat at my ear. Words spill in selfish truth though I try to restrain. This could be an amazing time but I can't do it all for myself. She is the one that needs healing and love during these times. From which view do I send from? Friend? More? Less? I don't want to fall with those chains again. The threat frightens my heart. I have stepped on the stones that left me locked inside a place I can't control. Still this feels so much different than those past immaturities. I've controlled and listened and seen and held my spirit to restraint and sensibility. But now the remark of "I'm not sure anymore" screams through the strained concern. Excitement recreates a movement that could betray me. The switches click and she speaks to him. I bide and wait for the return message... I anticipate, I yearn. What will she spill onto the floor? What will I say in return? What will my desires cause amidst this? I hope the words I've heard from others will ring truthfully. She creates in me a calm and vigor. She brings me out and keeps me contained. She holds me to earth and lets me fly. But what else is there to do? I've got nothing left here, nothing to give away or lose. The breaking glass shot through my thoughts. Their glimmers taught me the moment's value. I lean down and forget my voice. I hide these thoughts for the time immediate. Maybe one day I can speak of these moments. Tell an ear that I trust. Hear her inside my words. But now my throat is locked. The only other thing I have is time. The only other one is a mystery.

Another Quit

Fire eats at the metal

Dust and death begin to settle
No thought, no judgment
No need, "I wanted"
Rip and destroy, blood departs
A pumping, beating, losing heart
A blackness seen
Light lost in me
I failed in faith
These months I waste
His hand still reaches
Too scared to meet this

Last Night

A light shines,

It breaks these clouded eyes.
I cover myself,
A glass is no disguise.
I lose my mind to you,
It's true.
The ringing remarks,
The truest thoughts.
Against my actions,
I continually fought.
Reality screams,
I can't face my deeds.
Tilt the glass,
Pour the wine.
This liquid drains,
I'm gone in time.
I feel a need to end it soon,
I feel a need to move.
To what ends I would go,
To what heights I would seek.
I couldn't hold on,
I faced my defeat.
Girl, you are gone,
I pushed you away.
You aren't coming back,
It's over, I fade.
I'm closed,
I'm finished,
I'm done with this.

Attack, Retreat

A no revolution outlook betrayed

Faded glass dims the day
I heard you call but I know not the answer
My lies eat me away, destroy me like cancer
Violent stabs into my side
A judgment received, the pain is mine
Careful time makes for distraught
My words are failing, I'm left with not
I force inspiration more than ever
The days of old are gone, the moments untethered
I'm going to wait for another dream
Something amazing I've yet to be
Tonight it could come, bringing emotion
Interpretation from vision, insight to devotion

Conditioned Fool

I'm your fool to lose tonight. The cruelest of tendencies will push me now. Never again will I see clearly- you've blotted my eyes. I've broken out the dangers inside this link between. I have walked this road many times before. I don't know if it's love- far too soon to give that word another thought. I don't want to play this song and fail to catch it's meaning. I've immersed myself within it's melodies and never found a life to live. I know the ramblings heard are not mysteries so contained tonight. I've read each line before, lived each minute to its fullest and not found a breath of my own. I can't know where I'm to lead this next step we might take. Do I wait? Will you? Timing is everything in this game of guess and dare. Your signals are sent but cut with a double edge. From which do I bleed? I cannot know, I never have. One attack will give the answer, whether right or wrong. My choice is limited. Patience is not my forte. This day I will not fool myself. This day I will calm my soul. This day I will break the pattern. Tomorrow I'll smile with you. Tomorrow I'll be new.

Hold Sight

Can you grip a heart to save a soul? Dancing forever to change my reluctance. I am reckless and destroying, changing the fight. This ticking moment betrays my patience, banning me from the desolation I wish to repair. Along a solitary path I wage war against myself, retreating the beast and pouring wind ripped heat onto the wounds in my flesh. I’ve lost the days of rest, which broke the weary chains that pulled me deep into a sea of clouded black. I’ve wandered around the truth, avoiding its sting to my prideful flaws. I indulge my weaknesses, giving to them the means to survive; the means to pull me further beneath the cold touch of regret. I’ve wept and screamed. I know the way to destroy this but I have yet to fire the shot. The heated metal could fly from my gun, ripping through the heart of those who oppress me, but my wavering hand tells of the fear I am made of. Where would I find the courage to squeeze the trigger? I can’t continue with my solitude. I need the change. A walk in awakening towards a melting of impurities may be a start to continuance. These moments will revive in me a passion that has escaped my hand. Don’t watch me crash into fiery disruption; I won’t survive without your words, your embrace, your breath, your touch.

Down, Fall

Baby, just leave me heartless now

Cut apart my words as you hear
This is all I ever could hope for
Just a touch from the flames
End it this way so I can fade
Burning me to a finish
I'll release my hope
Lose memories
Lose my time
My mind
I'm gone

Shift of Life

I ordered an HD camera yesterday! I epically twisted my ankle today! I didn't take an exam today! I'm taking an exam Thursday!

Well my life is typically dull, the same level anyone else would probably evaluate their own life as. I think the reason some people are bored is cause they don't change their life enough. I mean, that's a very obvious observation but life is something we live everyday and the patterns we have can, and do, get really boring as they droll on day by day, unchanging. So once in a while we should wake up early, go take a walk before getting ready for work or school, go to a diner for a nice dose of energizing coffee and pancakes, wake up late so you have to hurry around more than usual, challenge yourself to take a faster shower (that would also be a good way to save on water). We could come home from class or work and instead of walking to the couch, computer, or wherever, turn on some music and dance! We could use some spice of life, some invigorating changes, risks taken, ordering something new from the menu instead of the all too comfortable fettuccine alfredo. Use different words. Learn new ones. Look up old ones and let the freshness of the uncommon phrase livin' things up a smidge. Live it up, make tomorrow a day of difference, a day of newness. I for one am gonna start rustling my neatly arranged feathers of life and hit up some random diner where the waitresses are named Flo and they are almost too friendly with their habit of calling you "Hun" or "Babe" as they refill your mug with the blackest of awakenings. Join me.

By the by, this is not at all what I intended to type when I started. I was gonna talk about a sprained ankle, a new camera, and 789 NYC. Things change though, and change is good ; )

Count My Heed

Captain screams "Retreat to safety!"

Evasive maneuvers engage in me
Training embedded as part of you here
Our hearts give out, our bodies fear
Responsive actions rule us now
With this we are blind to the sound
No past kept for memory's sake
No time lost when we awake
Our world is not what we should know
A shutdown threatens mechanical throes
But for now we break and I am lost
Maybe our hearts are better off

A Day For Valiance

Who do the lonely love?

Where do they hide their hearts?
When to they reach the wall?
When do they fall apart?
Will love be drawn?
What's in all this pain?
Does it live alone?
Is it an elusive gain?
A day for nothing?
Another hour passed?
How much time is left?
More than the lost can last.

Oh, what's this I'm on? Looks like.. yep, it's a bandwagon.

Username:

BooderMcDoo

Why did you pick it?:

I have no idea how I came up with it. Something I randomly made up for AIM.

Who did you first subscribe to?:

tubopopcorn. I actually made my account solely to subscribe to the channel.

Who did you most recently subscribe to?:

Dayviideo

What does your last text message say?:

"i wasnt planning on coming home until saturday anyway."

Do you have any goals?:

Lose more weight. Get to 1000 subs this year. Go to another YT gathering.

What was the last thing you bought?:

Milk, cran-grape juice, wheat thins and a few other random gorceries.

Describe the person who posted this using one line?:

Several peoples around the interwebz.

Are you excited about anything?:

There is something but lately I've been forgetting the source of my excitement.

Do you have a crush?

Yes, yes I do.

Have you ever been drunk?:

No sir I have not.

Who was the first Youtube you met in real life?:

drakesizzle, my boy!

Who was the last Youtuber you met in real life?:

I think maybe caithead?

Do you pefer day or night?:

I'd probably go with nighttime.

Are you a member of any collab channels?:

A former member of two: 7ppl (what a treat that was) and TheLifeRefresh (that one just kinda died out)

Do you have a secret account?:

Yes I do. I think there are only two people that know about it. Haven't put a video on there in a while, though.

Do you believe in God?:

I talk to Him everyday.

Which youtuber do you talk to the most?:

nanalew and the former emmers77 (now filmdekrentz)

Which Youtuber do you think makes the best videos?:

In my opinion, waverlyflams is very consistent and I love that. Them or collegehumor.

You may only subscrie to 5 channels and only watch their videos. who will they be?:

drakesizzle
nanalew
collegehumor
waverlyflams
wheezywaiter

Are you in a relationship?:

Nope.

would you date a smoker?:

Nope.

Where is your favourite place?:

Recent memory tells me to say Huntington Beach but I debate between that and the Haaj house where all my buddies live and where I hang every weekend.

Are you a happy person?:

Tired but happy.

Would you kiss the person who posted this?:

There's more than one and I am no serial kisser.

What would you take to the desert island? :

Plenty of food, a lot of books I've wanted to read, music and Les Stroud

Do you prefer sun or snow?:

Half and half.

Who did you last speak to on the phone?

The auto repair shop lady.

Who did you last text?:

The Moms.

What are you doing tommorow?:

One class and then work.

What is your favourite flavour of potato chips?:

I likes them regular style.

What size are your feet?:

11

What do you want?:

Some clarity and someone for Valentine's.

What do you need?:

To not be lazy and do what I know to do.

What do you remember?:

I remember my bike is broken and I have to walk to class tomorrow =(

What do you wish?:

I wish I were rich and didn't have to deal with school.

Confess:

I'm a very insecure person about the things I do and the relationships I have. There's something for ya.

Honesty. Do you want people to anonymously post what they REALLY Think of you ?
Hit me with it! I'm game.