Friday, June 6, 2008

The Cave Breaks

It is time. The steps came forward. I walked longer and more determined than I had before. With this I brought my own disparities and gloom. Where will I end? Why do I leave? The dark mouth of the cave approaches... and I welcome the darkness. From now, thoughts flow and leave. I'm lost in the black. My eyes remain closed. Even if I do wish to open them nothing is here. Nothing inside. Nothing for me. Nothing given. Nothing shown. Nothing voiced. Nothing written. Nothing. Just nothing.

I feel heavy from the black. It wears down my soul and crushes my body. Killing her venom is a task I won't undertake. I can't just forget what is in my veins, what has been in them for longer than I wish to think. I know it now. Destiny chose me to break over heartache. I was strong for a day, then I was beat down, lower than most. I don't want to fight her attacks, her avoidances, her steps away. I know what this kind of war requires, what it takes from you, what you can't resist amidst the battles. Where next? A third struggle undertaken? I broke free once. Six months later a week(ness) chains me again. If I make it through, what is on the other side? Experiences say peace, softness, relief... regret. One shot in the head, one in the heart. A blade pierced in my side, another in my neck. I drudge forward as my wounds bleed. I'll die from the next opposition in my way. I try to rely on the strength that is endless... but I'm tired and it's become increasingly harder to look up. Hands help to hold me, comfort me, slow the bleeding but never stop it. I look forward to the northern breaks of sky, they blow a wind that is refreshing, cooling, loving. Occasions like this don't always come when I wish. The eyes I love stare at the eyes I see. I'm blinded by the darkness. I stumble out again from the cave. Sunlight bathes me. I breathe in. Fall down. Sleep forever. I wait for the rope of love to wrap me up and drag me to resurface in life. Splashing me with water that freshens me again. My feet hit the floor and I step again. This day is not the last. This day I will survive. The war, the enemy I fight is a coward. Boldness and power flow in me now. His head is mine!

1 comment:

Bon Don said...

wow. very nice!