Friday, October 14, 2011

With Steady Minds

We watch it wasting away in movement
An abhorred thraldom of continuous steps
The careless cudgeling of someone's love
A ballistic shock wave sending frigidity to our hearts

But our castellated homes do not shout "Welcome!" to the dead
So gladly we become the Walking's misanthrope
A cavernous gloom flies with each fire we release
Our stoic vigilance will outlast this ruin

Monday, October 10, 2011

Work=Antifun

I'll throw down and update on the football games that I mentioned in last week's post and do a quick summary of this week for the teams. I don't want this to be another football post though.

Comanche won in dominating fashion with a victory of 32-6 over the Washington Warriors and pulled themselves into the class 2A rankings at #10.

OU won the game with a merciless one-two punch from defense and offense. The score of 55-17 over Bevo and company sent Texas running.

SNU lost to Northwestern 28-12. I didn't get to see this game (I actually didn't see any of the games) but I know it was tied going into the 4th quarter and it seems the downfall of the Crimson Storm was penalties. They had 159 yards in penalties but otherwise out gained Northwestern. When I see this I think of what one of my coaches said to my team after a loss "You don't have to be undefeated to win the championship." I think that applies here.

What's next? How about a little bit of psychology? Maybe?


Today me and one of my friends did our stint as discussion leader in our Advanced Social Psychology class. I've mentioned before that this is a fun class and I like discussing the topics. Today was about group processes. It basically covered everything from what defines a group, how it is formed, to how the group affects those who associate with it and how groups work with certain types of leadership.

My job right now is not really that fun at all. But when is a job supposed to be fun? I know it's "work" for a reason but I have found that I am in high need of cognition and that cognition can't be repetitive too much. I need something that's stimulates my mind and makes me think of new and adaptive ways to do things. At my job it is pretty set and defined the things I am supposed to do and can and cannot do. They say they want us to come up with new ways to do things but there is only so much we can do within the confines of the ABA program. We are also limited by the kids we work with. This job is beneficial for the pay, the hours, and the fact that I can do school projects as well as get practicum hours for my masters program. Those positives have to outweigh the negatives as much as I feel like they don't. I can't afford to have a different job with less pay, more obscure hours, and also the added hours of class work outside of the job. I hope it doesn't wear me down too much because I am already not a fan of going... at all.

Sorry about the depressing post. I just started typing it out. That's what this is for. I just hurl things off my chest and hope that where it lands some people either look at it and find some value or their examination stimulates thoughts in their own mind. Oh well, thanks for checking out my Monday post. I 'll leave with another promise: I won't always have depressing posts. When I get into a better flow of this I think I'll start posting humorous anecdotes or other things of that sort.

And yeah, that's just a goofy, unrelated pic of me up there.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Emend

Returning to me under duress and fire
We burn the madness in trepid ire
Before we bemuse a wild, lost pain
A vision of augury alters our ways

Waiting and lusting I broke your calm
We loved, we clashed, we climbed beyond
Restoring a trust with heavy hands
So timid we walk on haughty mands

Monday, October 3, 2011

Successes

This season of football has been pretty great to me so far. The three teams I consider "my teams" have all rolled along to a great undefeated start.

First and most well-known of the teams I scream maniacally in favor of is the University of Oklahoma Sooners. They're ranked #2 or #3 in the national polls, depending on which one you look at. Right now they have a record of 4-0 and are looking pretty strong.

The next team, and probably the one I actually feel most loyalty to right now, is the Southern Nazarene University Crimson Storm. They're an NAIA school in Bethany, Oklahoma. My brother played 5 years there and is now assisting the wide receivers as a coach. In addition to this, I have several friends who play on this team. They are currently 5-0 and have had blow-out victories in all 5 of their games. They were ranked #11 last week in the NAIA polls and the rankings for this week come out later today. I have no doubt that they will have broken into the Top 10 with a devastating victory over a team that was previously 4-1 (they're now ranked #10).

My former high school is the last team I'm looking at. Admittedly I don't have an enormous amount of heart invested in this team; it's just always nice to see that where you came from has become good again. After I graduated the Comanche Indians had some bad football years but now they've gone 5-0 and are getting better weekly.

All three teams face big challenges this week. OU faces Texas, SNU faces Northwestern (a perennial power in their conference), and the Indians face Washington (a team ranked in the state top ten). I am confident they will all continue greatness and I look forward to seeing more hard-hitting success from them.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Final

Abandoned hope
Musing surprise
We wash our facts
We de-mand lies

Falling context
Lucid dawn
I change my code
I travel on

Re-traces forgot
Leering smiles
Blasting this world
Creation defiles

Amid the chaos I am undone
Forever with survivalism we overcome
Inside my mind it loses life's fire
Darkness and others cornered in dire

Monday, September 26, 2011

New Styles

Ok. So some new things I plan on doing with this blog are happening right now. As you have probably seen I've been updating my blog with a new post every Friday. All but a few of them have been poems too. What I plan on doing now is updating every Monday with a post sorta like this one and every Friday with a story or poem or some other piece of writing. Right now, I don't have much to roll on about so I think I'll leave this post kinda wandering and let it fade out of specificity and into just whatever comes from my finger right now.

I've been running, working out pretty consistently to lose weight. It's the most solid working out I've done since I've been in college. I'm doing it for my wedding as well as just because I'm tired of having a gut. I'm loving that I have this motivation to continue with this running instead of letting it fade. I'm on my third week and it's a 9 week program

As far school goes, I've said some about it and now that I'm deeper in it I can tell you a little more. I like my Social Psychology class; I've always enjoyed social psych the most. Group dynamics and the concept of our actions being guided by a social survival system is just so neat to me. I'm also in a class where I am learning to give IQ tests to children and adults. Then I have an Applied Behavior Analysis class which is my least favorite class.

Job-wise I've started working as a tutor in a special needs Catholic school in Oklahoma City. The school is partnered with Mercy Hospital. It's a good job and it's not overwhelming. I get to use the hours I work there for some practicum hours for my School Psychology and ABA program. It also helps that I will be able to do some of my projects with the kids I work with there so I won't have to add more to my schedule outside of school and work.

One last bit of something I'd like to say is that I have gotten a main role in an upcoming comedy news web series. The series is being put on by Eyeshock which is a small independent production company here in Oklahoma City. It doesn't have a name yet, the show that is, and I have yet to begin working on it but as of right now I am slated to be a main character on the program and I am excited.

Now I know I've rambled and most of this isn't going to be too interesting but I tried to break it down into smaller bits so that it is easier to digest. I coulda rolled on about random thoughts within these subjects themselves but I did my best not to and if I strayed off too much I apologize. I will try to have the Monday posts be a little more directed next time. Toodles!

Friday, September 23, 2011

Revenir

He dives under at last
His loss of self comes fast
Pains are all but burnt out
Traces of times gone now
His mind throws all away
Eyes search and fix a gaze

Don't get lost here
We all bring faith
It's not just fear
We'll hold your place

Yet he didn't know us
Our shouts, screams, not enough
His turn brought us so close
Some join his comatose
Logic breeds our cold choice
A last flame's metal voice

Friday, September 16, 2011

Walking Me

I fall onto crumbled ground
Their steps unceasing trod toward
Stretching out, we reach for life
Scrambling, teetering me

Standing with unbalanced legs
They still hold with violence
Sinking in, we bleed as one
Struggling, enduring me

I'm fading out of the pain
Blood slows from the dripping wounds
Rising up, we feed this ache
Shuffling, walking me

Friday, September 9, 2011

The Breathing Boys

The breathing boys battle those death lost.
Their minds and mettle calm tremored hands,
Making guns to greatness in bleak lands.
It's cold and chaos that keeps their breath,
Purging the sickness, scorching those left.

But the world gets lost in entropy.
Recovering the rubble does naught,
The aftermath leaves us wrecked, distraught.
Then rises the tribes and savage wars.
Kill the Walking, it's us we abhor.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Soren Pistelis

A noble warrior. A righteous leader. An amalgam of discipline and instinct. Soren Pistelis fought for hundreds of years as soldier of fortune; loyal only to the Contract. His way of dealing with his profession garnered a manner of fluidity and precision that escapes the deepest fathoms of most human perception. Soren’s deeds often times were ebon and cold, heartless and swift. A Dark immortal such as himself thrives on certain cruelties but is not bound by those black musings. We step into Soren’s consciousness in the midst of his final contract—riddled with questions and smoldering thoughts, Soren begins to fade from allegiance to the Contract and grows toward another faith.


I heard their steps falling across the ground. I smelled the dust fluttering in the air behind their boots. A faceless fear crept in each one’s heart and it was me. I moved from the tops of the trees and landed silently on the earthen floor.


What did he mean by revolution?


Focus, Soren. The King must be done away with tonight before he announces his intent to marry. The two guards riding on the carriage will be the most alert and least restless. The three on horseback will be my largest challenge. The 7 on foot are at a much more vulnerable psychological state and I can use their confusion and edginess to disrupt the entire convoy’s resolve. The secondary convoy may attack but the prince will not be a target so his retreat to safety will be their first priority.


When will he begin?


No. Speedy now. Catch up but keep a silent footfall. Now is the time I play with their fears. Yes. I remember now. I fire a psychic blast into the trees opposite of my position and they quickly turn, weak knees and swords at the ready. They keep moving though. I scurry ahead and lob a stone arching high into the air. It flies for an extended period before it falls in front of the lead horseman. The horse rears back momentarily startled. The men do not muster their calm as quickly. A beast knows when it is the one in danger but men can only think of their death once their fear begins to blossom.


“In the name of the king: who goes there?” cries Captain Runely, true courage gracing his words.


The guards stand and stare at the trees as if they themselves will speak up in response to the fading thunder of Runely’s request.


I sat in the darkness seeing so clearly the fear in each of their hearts. Runely’s bravery kept his men from completely losing themselves but it was only a momentary fix.


How does he plan to bring revolution?


Concentrate, Soren! You cannot let his words cloud your mind. Assault their terrors head-on now.


I run ahead of their group as they continue to hurry onward at an increased pace. I step out into the middle of the road, standing firm and cloaked in the night’s darkness. I wait for the cavalcade to come around the bend. Their strides drew them closer and soon their probing eyes found me in the shadows. They stopped in mid-step. I was only a dark figure established in their path but what did they see in me? I regarded their presence with a slow rise of my head. Runely endured steadily, hand on his sword. The rest of the number failed to compose any essence of courage among them despite only encountering a single man.


Runely spoke, “This is the king’s convoy and I advise you to step aside, citizen, or we will be forced to remove you by any means necessary.”


I smiled and conjured a pyrokinetic fire within my palm and allowed it to flow all around me, licking at my body and covering me with flames. And in a quick instant, when the flames had covered me completely, I darted into the woods with the flame extinguishing behind me. The men began to shriek of fire demons and shadow sorcery. They were beyond Runely’s control; he had lost his men in their own deluge of fear and wild imagination.


I strike fast, using a psyblast to knock one of the guards to the ground. He winces in pain as the blast drives deep into his midsection.

Friday, August 19, 2011

I'll Name It After I Write It

Here comes a regular blog post. No poetry this time and no prose with veiled meanings. This isn't a post that's a sample of some larger piece I'm writing nor is it a post about what I plan on writing (though it may stray to that at some point). No. This is a blog post like few I have done before. This will be just me talking about life and what's going down for me at the present moment. I want this one to be fun.

First off, the unstoppable train that is college has finished it's long stop in Graduation Town and is now chugging full steam ahead to Post Gradatopia, and I'm their precious cargo. I've been out of school since December (minus one summer class that wasn't hard at all) and my next battle with education is starting come 9am Monday morning, August 22nd (happy bday mom!). Yes, I begin my 9 hours of grad classes on Monday and I am not excited for school to start like I falsely believed I was in past semesters. I don't think it will be hard, the classes at least. What I do think will be hard is having to have a job where I will probably need to work every hour I am available so that I can afford to live. See, unlike previous years of college, this year I am paying for half of my tuition and my parents are paying the other half. I know that is still alot easier than some people have it but it's a first for me and I apologize if it doesn't seem as big of a deal to you as it does for me. I am also planning and trying to help pay for a wedding at the same time.



That's right, I'm engaged to be married. Her name is Jessica and she is beautiful and amazing and everything I could want in a woman. I can't go on about her on here without being uber cliche but everything would be so true. She's perfect for me and I deeply love her with all my heart. She is a woman who encourages me in God and believes in my abilities and tells me when I'm wrong. She's not afraid to put me in my place and she can handle me when I get a bit out of hand. She's funny and thinks I am too and our life together will be amazing.

What else do I have to add to this? Hmm.... I could talk about my writing. I did say that I might touch on that a bit at some point. See, I left myself an out so that I can go back to it and not be a liar. Ok, we'll touch on that a bit. Rolling through the semester from August to December last year I wrote 2 or 3 poems max. That was mainly due to the hefty load of writing I was doing for my screenwriting class where I was drafting my first full length script. It comes from the novel I started way back when I did NaNoWriMo that one and only time. Since then I have been tweaking and revising it a bit every now and again and haven't been writing hardly any poetry at all. The script is coming along nicely and I have 87 pages of it done but there is alot of room for improvement.


So that's me in these recent days. I hope that all of you who read this have a blessed day and that none of you fall for the blunders of the sleeping priorities you may have dismissed. Good bye.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Breathing Boys


The wretch, the wicked

The deceiving dead

It fights, it fades

A sultry sin

Be gone the lost

Believe the rage

Become a virus

Defeat will stay


Fruitless cries

Falling campaigns

The horde still lingers

The flesh is drained


The bloodied, the battled

The breathing boys

It lives, it loves

A nocturnal noise

Be gone the hope

Believe the sane

Become the faults

War remains